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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Gen Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's response is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal habits signaling a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks affirm your choice to date a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {